Friday, August 19, 2011

{friday afternoon}

i walked down 13th to the used book store because used book stores are always changing and you need to go often if you don't want to miss anything.
and me, i've always been this way, i don't want to miss anything.

i found some things that hadn't been there before and some things that had been there but which i hadn't bought. i bought them, and on my way back home i looked up and noticed that the sky was a bit bigger than it usually is.

it kind of dizzies me, looking up into the sun and thinking about how big the out there is and how small the down here is.

it's moments like those that i feel the faintest urge to sit down right where i am and scream and scream and scream until someone comes along and assures me that i am visible enough and loud enough and existent enough to make a spectacle of myself.

do you think that's why some people dress and act so obnoxious and belligerent? because they feel like they'll just be swallowed up whole by the sky if they don't make enough noise?


  1. I don't know, but you remind me of myself a bit. I like to be active and busy learning and doing -- sometimes when I do nothing for too long I feel in danger of disappearing altogether.

  2. i could read your blog for probably 11 eternities. thinking about how big it is out there makes my head hurt.

  3. most likely it is...but it would be awfully nice if obnoxious and belligerent people would get swallowed up by the sky. just saying.

    I get a major attack of the insignificants when I'm looking up into the starry night sky with not a tree or bush or hill or house to interrupt my view. Very humbling and sometimes quite scary when on a deserted bush road......

  4. lacie: exactly. i think i can get obnoxious sometimes just because of that reason. sigh. :)

    larissa: hahah! you are so funny. :) thanks for always leaving the nicest notes.

    shelley: ooh..deserted bush roads are so scary. when i was younger, i lived way out in the country and would often stop my car and just lay on the hood and look at the sky. talk about big sky small me...

  5. I'm sure that's why obnoxious people are obnoxious. That's why a lot of the time I wonder if I'm being unfair thinking people are obnoxious. Maybe it's just their interpretation of being themselves.

    Of course, then I remember that we live in societies and that cultural norms should be at least observed, and I decide maybe we should all find a happy medium between being annoyingly loud and being swallowed up.

  6. agreed, business partner. well put.

  7. Love this. As usual...<3

    I never want to miss anything. That's why Blogging is such a time eater for me. I have to read every single post by every single Blog I follow. If I don't, I feel like I'm missing something and it drives me crazy until I do.

    Also, sometimes I blow my own mind when I think about eternity and the universe and how big the out there is. Seriously though, it's crazy.

  8. i hate feeling like I am missing out on anything, it makes me anxious

  9. jamie. totally. i read every single post in my reader. days and days and days of them. in short: YIKES.

    maria: when i was younger, i was always, always the last to leave any event, no matter how tired i was or what i had to do the next day just cuz i didn't want to miss anything. it's kind of ridiculous. :)

  10. Undoubtedly. :)

    Beautifully written as always!


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