Tuesday, August 02, 2011

{handshaking: a paper rant}

23 comments:

  1. Ouch, what did you do??
    Once, I was laying on the beach when a very old, obese woman, who had been sweating (a lot) for the heat, asked me to put the suncream on her back. I did not manage to make up a story so..I did. It was a shock and I'll remember it forever, and in case I won't I have a picture of her somewhere, haha.

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  2. OH MY GOODNESS...
    that is the funniest thing i've ever heard. you are such a good person for doing that for her. wow.

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  3. Ha ha ha!!!! I would just say "sorry, I'd shale your hand but I just got over strep throat" and then smile and wave. Buuuut. I wouldn't want karma to bite me in the butt and end up with the worst strep throat case ever. Ha ha ha. Awkwaaaaard!

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  4. Ack!!! I think I would have screamed and run away before he ever got the hi out!! No not really but I sure would have felt like it.

    I'd probably be straight up honest and say something like "you're kinda sweaty, I think not." Or I'd hand him a few napkins/paper towels and say "dry off that hand and I'll shake it." My thought being, he's beyond rude for coming up to me like that so there is no way I'm going to be ruder than him by saying no. Ha!

    Although I like Amy's idea too.


    Lillian-Thinking Out Loud

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  5. haha, i should definitely carry anti-bacterial wipes around with me! you're onto something...
    disinfect peoples' hands before they touch mine.

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  6. well, in reality, i would shake his hand and then be sure to use hand sanitizer as soon as he was out of sight :) i just wouldn't have the heart to say no. WHAT DID 'YOU' DO THOUGH? :)

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  7. i shook his hand. but i didn't HAVE any hand sanitizer! and, chantelle, he was just SO, SO sweaty!!

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  8. I'm with you on getting rid of hand shakes all together. Especially for women, they are so sooo awkward 98% of the time.

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  9. EWWWWW!!!! I probably would've just pretended that I didn't see his outstreached hand and given him an awkward wave instead :)

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  10. I think I might "accidently" drop my purse or pretend I got a text!
    ugh! so gross!

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  11. oh man. What an awkward situation! I mean, you don't want to come across as rude but at the same time...ew?

    I love the way you wrote/drew this post by the way. It had me smiling :)

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  12. Aww, I understand your pain, but I wish more people were upfront and friendly like that. So many will just avoid eye contact and walk right past you. On the other hand, it's always the people that are strange that are friendly, and you wish it were the other way around.

    Oh, I'm torn. Kudos to Tony for being nice, and kudos to you for shaking his hand, despite it being gross. And shame on you, Tony, for not having clean hands. And it's just just too bad you weren't prepared with hand sanitizer. Next time, you'll know.

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  13. yucky!!!
    gross, gross, gross.
    blck.
    i can't even think about it.

    fake a sneeze right at that moment. a big, wet one right into the hand you would otherwise be shaking with.

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  14. Yeesh. I would probably wave and then be like "Sorry, I just ate a messy cupcake and wouldn't want to get your hands sticky.....oh lookatthetimebye.

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  15. jamie: it's true! they really are just so dang awkward!

    crystal: you would've. hahaha and i would've been there and i would've laughed and then something even more outrageous would've happened. that's how it goes with us.

    amylou: good one! texting. the ultimate social snub. :)

    debbie: aw thanks! you have ME smiling.

    chess: you have a point. he WAS friendly. that's what barclay pointed out to me. and i was like, "but BARCLAYYYY, he was so SWEATYYYY... and OLD..."

    anna: YOU are a genius. THAT is the answer. a big wet sneeze. and then, politely hold up my goopy hand and say, "oh...haha, i'm sorry, you probably don't want to touch that."
    GENIUS. you win.

    alivia: hahahaha a messy cupcake. i love it. maybe, so that it wouldn't be a lie, i should just always have a messy cupcake on hand?

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  16. Agree 100% with Amy Schmamy and Jamie. Strep throat is good. Also, handshakes are awkward. Espceially the girls who have that problem called, I can't firmly grasp your hand because I'm a weaksauce girl. So my hand is just limp in your hand and you're not squeezing hard or anything but you're squeezing just enough to realize you're squeesing 100% harder than awkward handshake girl is and then you're embarrassed because you didn't know it wasn't a real handshake until it was too late. Happens every week at church and every day at work. Do you like my rant? I'm done now. If it were me, I'd roll my eyes and tell Mr. Red Shorty Shorts to go away and come back when he's showered, lysol'd and clothed. Kthaxbai.

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  17. hahaha! jamie. i sensed a lot of attitude in that comment. it made me laugh. do you have a thing against men in red shorty shorts? :)

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  18. Haha, this made me laugh! I don't know how many times this has happened to me - I never know what to do! Pretend your are sick? Hmmm....sounds like a plan to me :)

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  19. yes, i think the sick/messy sneeze combo has been my best option so far. it's not suspicious, it doesn't come across as rude, and it also makes them feel a bit sorry for you so that they leave you alone? absolutely. the blogosphere is so helpful!

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  20. I absolutely hate shaking hands with people. I shook a homeless mans hand before and it was all wet... I was scared to ask why...

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  21. ALWAYS carry around hand sanitizer in your pocket - just like Craig does. And I personally think you should make yourself a button with a no handshakes sign on it, like the one you drew, and always wear it out. Then at least you have something to point to if that ever happens again!

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  22. ashley! creepy! hahaha i would've been scared too...and it would've bothered me for a long time. i'm SUCH a germophobe. yikes.

    jen: i really should. and i love the button idea! i absolutely need a button.

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