Monday, August 15, 2011


so this is monday. 
and yesterday was sunday, obviously.

it's like this. you're 7, and you're playing on the merry-go-round with your three friends and that one awkward boy who's just always there. you're hanging on to the bar and you're fine and you like spinning. but then the teacher appears and needs to talk to you. it's something simple, like that your mom called and you're supposed to go to your aunt's house after school instead of going home, but adults don't like to talk to kids while they're spinning so she makes you get off the disc and stand in front of her and look her in the face while she relays the message. 

that first initial jump off the merry-go-round is fine but then you stumble all over the place and feel sick and dizzy for a bit and the whole time the teacher's talking you're looking at her lips but not hearing her and just thinking "i'm going to puke i'm going to puke i'm going to puke i'm going to puke..." 

soon, she's done talking and your friends are still on the merry-go-round and they're all like, "hey, jump back on!" 

but you're still really disoriented and jumping back on is really not as easy as it seems like it should be.

so that's metaphorical, obviously.
i jumped off the merry-go-round last week. i'm fine, everything is fine, but i'm having trouble getting back on. and i feel like maybe it shouldn't be this hard? like maybe i'm just as klutzy emotionally as i am physically? 

i've decided maybe i'll just sit this week out, spend some time eating stuff and sleeping, and then next week i'll travel back in time to today and do a better job of the week. i know, time travel is tricky, but i found this guy in california who might be willing to take me.