Thursday, March 22, 2012

{the great internet self-esteem crisis of '12}

i like to look at my stats.

i like to see where people are visiting from and how many of them are around. not in a competitive i-want-to-win-the-internet kind of way {i've taken my google friend connect thing off the blog because lately, i just don't care how many people are "subscribed"; i just like that people comment and that there's anyone at all reading}, but in a curious how-are-people-finding-me kind of way.

today, the results were less than savoury, and i'm going to share them because self-pity is a dish best eaten with the mouth wide open for everyone to see.

these are the words that people have typed into google search that have led them here to suzykrauseandtheskyscrapers.blogspot.com:


dumbo ears extreme... 8 people found me by searching for dumbo ears extreme?
katy perry mouth?
ballet and dog cakes?
BOY FACIAL HAIR?

ow, my pride...

quick, everyone say something nice about my face!!! it doesn't even have to be true!!!

47 comments:

  1. of course it's not true {about the dumbo ears and boy facial hair}!!!
    hmm... i should think again about that Katy Perry mouth, haha.

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    1. i wonder if my mouth looks like hers. i think not, but i don't know!
      also: when did i ever mention katy perry's mouth on this blog!? hahaha

      Delete
  2. I found your awesome blog by searching 'mermaid hair' and you totally do look like a mermaid! I would kill to look like you, honestly!

    This blog business can kinda knock your self esteem though, in the past few days i've lost 2 followers (I don't have that many) having never lost any before that the whole time i've been blogging. What have I done? :O Hehe.

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    1. hahah aw thanks. :) isn't it weird when you lose a bunch of followers for no apparent reason? i lost three in one hour once. what the heck???

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  3. hahahaha omg, sorry for laughing, but that's hilarious!

    how do they even get to your page with those?

    and for the record, you are very pretty!

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    1. oh my goodness, you are so allowed to laugh. i laughed too. i'm not really as panic-stricken as this post made me appear. :D
      my biggest puzzlement is over the ballet and dog cakes one. WHAT?

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  4. You're gorgeous! (And that's true.)

    Also, don't feel too bad about how people find you--the majority found you by searching your name! I checked my stats and found that most hits came from people searching for "The Wonder Years". (I posted about it months ago.) My favorite--I got four hits this month from people searching for "exposed breasts". I don't know when I used that phrase, but I must have at some point. Those porn-seekers must have been pretty disappointed. :)

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    1. hahahah isn't it so strange?? like, dog cakes? when have i ever written about dogs, or cakes, let alone "dog cakes"?????
      talk about dissapointment....

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  5. Bahaha seriously?! You don't have dumbo ears or facial hair. And you're pretty. I get some weird ones, too. I think people search those and when they see a blog they're like what the heck?! And then they click through and find you don't have dumbo ears or facial hair and you're not what they're looking for at all but instead they found a really pretty, funny girl who isn't funny looking but funny ha ha and then they stay a while.

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    1. oh garsh. thanks larissa. :D haha--i really do love being able to see what people search for when they find my blog. it's always good for a laugh!!

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  6. oh man don't feel bad about key words! some of them are just so over the top you have to laugh. someone found my blog once by searching "bookmark nipples," "you are pugly," and "old lady with pug." i am certainly not old (ok maybe 30 is considered old to some) and i don't talk about my nipples lol

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    1. hahahaha whaaaat? so strange. and hilarious. ohhhhh google.

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  7. hahahahahahahahahahaha I am literally stifling laughs at my desk so co-workers don't know I'm not working. I for one, have never associated you with dumbo ears, or extreme dumbo ears, or Katy Perry or dog cakes, if that makes you feel any better. I associate you with "funny", "big blue pretty eyes that I wish I had", and "maker of brilliant post-it art". :) Now I'm afraid to look at my search results.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. what? you don't think of dog cakes when you think of me?
      thanks for all the kind words--and you should totally go look at your search results. i check mine every day and they never fail to make me laugh!

      Delete
  8. Suzy. Seriously. You are stunning. You are so pretty that my husband looked over my shoulder when I was reading your blog and was like "wow, who's that? She's really pretty." We agreed that you look like a blonde Mila Kunis. And this is all 100% honest.

    In other news I've been thinking of removing GFC from my blog too, causes too much hand-wringing!

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    1. oh my goodness. garsh. you're so sweet. :)

      and yes! i have yet to comment on your post about being real. i'm going to go to that. but it somehow relates to gfc.

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  9. You have a beautiful face! (And that's not a lie!) And you DEFINITELY don't have dumbo ears... what is that about?! Katy Perry's mouth is quite good as mouths go, so I'd take that as a compliment haha x

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    1. hahahaha oh good graish suzy. thanks. :D

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  10. This made me laugh--as though they searched dumbo ears. Although you could take it as a positive that your blog is really interesting nd covers a whole host of topics, and you don't have dumbo ears dont worry.

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    1. hahaha i know where they got the dumbo ears from though--i did a post on my big ears a while back. but so funny that someone actually google searched them. i want to know why people are googling these things! :)

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  11. This made me laugh--as though they searched dumbo ears. Although you could take it as a positive that your blog is really interesting nd covers a whole host of topics, and you don't have dumbo ears dont worry.

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  12. Your face is more beautiful than a thousand beautiful sunsets. Amen.

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    1. says the girl whose face is more beautiful than a million beautiful sunsets. :)

      Delete
  13. i would kill for your face, lady! And you're hair. (And not in a serial killer i-want-to-wear-your-skin-as-clothes way, I promise.)

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    1. oh silly. let's trade! i like your face.

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  14. AHAHAHA. I do this too. But you are oh-so pretty and funny and smart and clever and nice and creative. And THAT is why people stay at your blog, even if it's not how they got here. :)

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    1. hhaha--isn't it hilarious? i had some great ones last month too. i should've shared them. you should share yours. it could be a thing.

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  15. oh no! well, suzy. those things just aren't applicable to you.

    in fact, if you were to go to a ball, you would be the belle of it. you're lovely!! i'm not even saying that just to make you feel better. it is one hundred percent true!

    however, this made me look at the results for my blog traffic. fortunately, nothing too traumatizing came up. whew.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. aw, you are so sweet! :)
      i think that the longer you blog for, the better that little results page gets. keep checking back! haha!

      Delete
  16. I think you're one of the prettiest people I've ever seen who isn't, you know, a model or a fashion blogger.

    And that's something true.

    I get so caught up in how wonderful I find your writing and then you happen to post a photo of your face and I get all "oh that's right. She's beautiful as well. JEEZ".
    But I think it's lovely.

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    1. oh my goodness. haha i'm blushing like crazy reading all these comments from all these beautiful people! you're great. :)

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  17. Ahhhahahaha, I'm cracking up over here. You have a lovely face - Katy Perry mouth, boy facial hair, and all. Just to join in this open-mouthed pity party - because misery loves equally poor-mannered company, am I right? - a couple of my recent search keywords:

    1) affinity for foxes (predictable)
    2) feral child (crap.)

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    1. HAHAHAHA---so good. i just love hearing people's search results. just to put your mind at ease, i've never thought of you as a feral child. :D

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  18. My question is: Why are people searching for those things? I think you're beautiful!

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    1. for real--why is anyone searching for "ballet and dog cakes"? and when have i ever written about either of those things? it made me spit laugh when i read these. too perfect.

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  19. hahaah I get the most bizarre stuff too!

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  20. The boy facial hair thing was actually one of my favourite posts. I think you should take that as a win.

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    1. OHHHHHHHHHHH
      k, i could not figure out why boy facial hair would lead anyone here. mystery solved.

      Delete
  21. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm trying not to laugh... My best one, I think, was "exploding lactose". What?! When did I ever talk about THAT?!

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    1. hahahahahahahha so funny! you are totally allowed to laugh, i'm not actually half as traumatized as i come across. exploding lactose. you beat me with that one.

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  22. You are lovely and your ears are very Un-Dumbo and NOT extreme!

    P.S. Someone found my blog the other day by searching for "kkk coloring book." I think it says a lot more about the wacky things people Google than it does about either of us!

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    1. whoa--hahaha you have us all beat with yours. why are people searching for these things????

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  23. Oh. My. Goodness.

    Internet fail cause extreme dumbo ears is just plain crazy! Your face is lovely and your ears totally normal sized! ;)

    PS - Weren't you just asked to be in a commercial? I mean, really, that signifies extreme prettiness!!

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    1. oh garsh. thanks meg. {though, if we ever meet in real life, i will show you my dumbo ears. they are grand.}

      Delete
  24. oh-my-funny. this is so great! is it weird that while you are feeling self-conscious about this...i'm secretly envious since i haven't had any weird searches come to my baby blog yet?!?!?! hehehehe...maybe someday!

    and truly, you have so much beauty:):):)

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  25. hahaha, you just need to type weird, random things on your blog, and then people will find their way to you when typing in "ballet and dog cakes" too!! i hope your dreams come true! :D

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