Wednesday, April 11, 2012

{up and down}

i was sitting on the floor between the filing cabinet and the kitchen table yesterday afternoon, surrounded by newspapers and files and envelopes, digging and sorting and throwing away. i had this song by kathleen edwards on repeat, probably the fifth listen in.

A Soft Place To Land by Kathleen Edwards on Grooveshark

the sun comes into the room at a different slant this time of year. it makes faint patterns on everything and warms up a little circle space on the floor for me to sit. 

so there i sat, digging and sorting and throwing away; old bank statements, a newspaper clipping i'd saved, a user's manuel for a camera i threw away a long time ago. my phone beeped twice and when i picked it up, i saw that i had two text messages from two different friends waiting, both sent at exactly 3:31; one announcing a birth, and one announcing a death. 

i was glad i was alone, because i wasn't sure what to do with my mouth. 

how do you turn the corners of your mouth up and down at the same time? and will your heart blow up if it tries too hard to feel too many things all at once?