Wednesday, April 11, 2012

{up and down}

i was sitting on the floor between the filing cabinet and the kitchen table yesterday afternoon, surrounded by newspapers and files and envelopes, digging and sorting and throwing away. i had this song by kathleen edwards on repeat, probably the fifth listen in.

A Soft Place To Land by Kathleen Edwards on Grooveshark



the sun comes into the room at a different slant this time of year. it makes faint patterns on everything and warms up a little circle space on the floor for me to sit. 

so there i sat, digging and sorting and throwing away; old bank statements, a newspaper clipping i'd saved, a user's manuel for a camera i threw away a long time ago. my phone beeped twice and when i picked it up, i saw that i had two text messages from two different friends waiting, both sent at exactly 3:31; one announcing a birth, and one announcing a death. 

i was glad i was alone, because i wasn't sure what to do with my mouth. 

how do you turn the corners of your mouth up and down at the same time? and will your heart blow up if it tries too hard to feel too many things all at once? 

20 comments:

  1. Whoa. Beautiful, so sad, and so crazy that you got those two messages at the SAME. EXACT. TIME. Could you write a book about just one moment in time?

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    1. haha i'm sure you could write a book about a moment. but you'd have to use a LOT of adjectives... :)

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  2. Yeah and if you do one side up and one side down your face will be crooked.

    Sorry about the sad news, I hope it wasn't someone you were close with.

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    1. and we can't have a crooked face.
      {thanks}

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  3. :( I'm sorry Suzy. It's crazy that you received two completely different texts at the same time...

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    1. for real. kind of a surreal moment, for sure.

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  4. So sorry to hear of the death, and happy to hear of the birth.

    Aside from the happy/sadness this was a really well-written post...just thought I'd say that :)

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  5. That is insane.
    And happy.
    And sad.

    I guess it's really beautiful, something going out, something coming in. But yes. Talk about confusion for how to react!

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    1. yeah weird hey? the whole life cycle in one second.

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  6. You have such a lovely way of saying things x

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  7. As though those texts arrived at exaclt the same time--when one life ends another begins.

    And I really have to do filing and sorting too but have been putting it off big time.

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    1. it's true. weird how there can be such a happy day for one family and such a sad one for another.

      {get on that filing! it feels so good!}

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  8. *extra hugs sent your way and the way of your sweet friends* I'm pretty sure sad smiles are acceptable.

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  9. I loved this post, but it made me want to cry at the same time. I honestly don't know what I'd do. Sad/happy all at the same time.

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    1. thanks. :) such a happy/sad day for sure.

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  10. I'm so glad you think the way you do.
    I don't think people emphasize ENOUGH how conflicting emotions can be so... conflicting? It's like one half of your body is trying to jump while the other half is sinking.
    Life and death is such a strange phenomenon.. and when the two happen at the same time right in front of us.. well.. I don't know.

    Okay, that commennt really didn't say anything.But obviously you get it. ;)

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