Tuesday, June 19, 2012

{what if i'm not here?}

one time when i was young i watched a movie about a woman who had alzheimer's and who thought she was young and newly married even though she was in her 90's and her husband had died years earlier. and then i spent an unreasonable amount of time wondering if i was actually an old woman just imagining that i was young again.

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the thought crossed my mind again yesterday and i realized that there'd be no way to prove to myself that i'm actually here right now and not there thinking i'm here. that's a very strange thing to think about. excuse me. i'm going to go look in the mirror for a while.

12 comments:

  1. so glad I'm not the only one who does this sort of weirdness :)

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  2. That is a very strange thing to think about. I read a book called "Still Alice" told from the viewpoint of a woman suffering from early-onset Alzheimer's, it was totally tragic but very well written.

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    1. whoa. i should look that book up. it'd probably love it/cry through the whole thing.

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  3. YOu know what I think sometimes? That I'm mentally handicapped and I just see the world how I think it should be, but actually it's a completely different world and people are just playing along, you know? Ha.

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    1. I THINK THIS TOO!!!
      my brother has down syndrome, and i allllllways wondered if i did too, just no one bothered to tell me.

      what if it's true?

      i'm so glad i'm not the only person in the history of the world to think this.

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  4. Huh. That is strange.


    In other news, I like that picture.

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  5. When I was small, my little sister used to think that she was mentally handicapped but 'wasn't aware of it', because sometimes I called her retarded. I still feel a bit guilty about it.. But think it's really funny at the same time. Am I a bad person?

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    1. hahahahaha aw! {refer to nova & my's conversation 2 above yours...hahaha}
      :)

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  6. Okay. So, since I started working at This Place That I'm Now Working At That I Don't Mention Online --you know, the place that is a Place Not To Be Named Online and the one that is also a mental health facility? Okay, since then, I've had a few freaky moments of the exact same thing. I'll be sitting there at my desk or teaching students or something and then I wonder: what if I'M the crazy one? What if I'm in the midst of some grand delusion and I THINK I'm a teacher teaching here, but really I'm locked up somewhere and they're giving me medication for this delusion of mine, all the while saying nicely, "yes, Carmen, sure, you're the teacher. Of course you are."

    I'm so glad you understand.

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    1. WHOA. there are more people in the world who think this way. i am so happy. i used to work at a camp for mentally challenged adults {think friendship club, but overnight for a week}, and sometimes i'd stop and be like, "am i a camper, or a counsellor...?}

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