Friday, July 06, 2012

{the problem}

the problem is people.
this is almost always the problem.

yesterday, a car ran a stop sign and almost hit me. i put my hand out and it came to rest on the hood as the little blue mustang screeched to a stop and the petite blonde behind the wheel just twisted a lock of product-filled hair around her texting finger and looked at me blankly like, "oh, huh. where'd you come from?" i smiled at her and went on, glad not to be implanted face first in her windshield.

and then i went for coffee with becky and was attacked by a woman in ripped jean shorts. i use the word "attacked" loosely, because she didn't actually touch me; she just lunged at me, screaming that i had, apparently, looked at her wrong.

but honestly, i don't really remember looking at her much at all, except to notice that she was wearing ripped jean shorts. i was thankful that her boyfriend held her back so she couldn't hit me, and carefully escorted her away and across the street before the situation escalated. through the whole event, i didn't move a muscle except to sip my iced coffee and laugh at a joke becky told.

earlier that day, i'd been walking past a yard where a man stood watering his flowers. i had my headphones on and was watching the sidewalk disappear beneath my feet when he glanced up and i glanced over and he turned the hose directly on my face, even though my face was absolutely nowhere near his flowers. i was a little bit shocked and quite mad, but it was hot that day and the water felt so refreshing that i just kept on walking, patting my hair down and using the bottom of my shirt to dry my face.

but the point is not that.
the point is that some days i wonder if i might be on a reality tv show i don't know about; i wonder if the point of the show is to provoke me into fighting with someone or punching something or whatever.

because if that's not the case, then i just live in a city full of weirdos and klutzes and jerks, basically.

24 comments:

  1. Oh goodness. That is a problem. Sometimes I wonder how people like that survive life. Maybe they're the casting agents for reality tv. They want to see how you'd hold up in a house full of weirdos and jerks.

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  2. What a day! I'm impressed by how un-phased you were through all the weirdness. Nuts!

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  3. I had to laugh at the last one.

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  4. Wow! People thes days! I can't believe all those things happened to you! And I admire your will power and optimism.

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  5. When the Truman Show came out, I was absolutely positive that that was me. I was Jim Carrey starring in a show about my life in a giant dome somewhere that could be seen from space, and all the universe is watching my every move.

    Is it true?!

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  6. what?! what?! to all of it. you got yelled at? and sprayed with water?! who DOES that? so rude. all of it.

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  7. who needs the Truman show when you've got the Suzy show?! X

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  8. duuuuuuude... these things are all terrible. I am in such a place right now with my faith in people, and just reading this post made me cringe a bit, and be angry a bit more then i already have been as of late. dont you wish you could just say, ¨hey blonde girl: maybe dont text and drive and avoid taking a life¨, and ¨hey other lady in ripped shorts: im sure youre great but i didnt even in fact notice you at all, but now that youre acting like a 3 year old ill never forget you¨, and lastly:¨okay, if you dont want people to look at your flowers then dont make them so dang nice. and spraying people with the hose wont make them stop enjoying pretty flowers. you suck.¨
    (this is just what i would want to say)
    im trying to keep the faith~ together good hearted people can prevail!!!!!!
    Becky

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  9. Oh yikes!! I thought I was the only one that attracted randomly mean people. It's nice to know I'm not alone but it's sad that they are out there at all. You handled all three cases so much better than I would have. I think there are more jerks in the world and not just because there are more people, I just think people are jerkier than ever before. =/


    Lily-Thinking Thoughts

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  10. I hate dumb drivers, such as those who think you are at fault when obviously their phone glued to their hand/ear is the problem. I am glad it is all good. Also, I hate crazy people. I am always afraid someone will lash out and "attack" me because I was simply admiring their outfit (or looking at their clothing choice in disgust. that happens a lot too now a days). As for the guy, I am sure he thought that the water would have cooled you off and you would have enjoyed it. At least it was refreshing!

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  11. If you are on a reality TV show then I'm bummed b/c you know I've always wanted to watch yours and I'm clearly not watching! ;) But on a serious note...that's really crazy. Seriously? He shot you in the face with water?! Maybe it's just that you live in a particularly strange area of the city?

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  12. haha, i love having a little group of people who can express such indignation at my discomfort. THAT'S why i'm able to stay so chill in the moment: i'm like, "wow, weird. this is going to make an excellent blog post."

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  13. Oh man, you clearly do have some interesting people in your town. Can't believe that chick almost hit you...texting and driving is so mind-numbingly stupid. Anyway your life is interesting, take comfort in that! :)

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  14. Those sorts of nutty things happen to me, too. Perhaps we're God's reality show and he isn't averse to provoking a little fisticuffs every now and then.

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  15. Ugh, people can be assholes. Well done on staying so calm! I'm not sure how I would have handled it!

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  16. Whoa man, you just described my life! I always feel like I'm just minding my own business and people go crazy at me for some reason.

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  17. Wow! I'm impressed you managed to stay so calm and so lovely about it all. I'd be furious and brood over those things for ages. Why are people so jerkish?!

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  18. Oh my goodness. Oh. My. Goodness.

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  19. augh. people. I just wrote a post on why I work alone. I think I should have read this first! used a quote even!

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  20. What weirdos! Wowza. Well, God bless your sweet patient heart! I envy you.

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  21. Crazies, jerks, guys stripping on their way down the street - we live in the same city, but I don't think we live in the same city, you know what I mean?? I need to walk around more maybe, maybe I miss the craziness because I drive everywhere (not texting while I do it, btw)
    Weird question - did you have your glasses on for these events? Just picturing them in my mind is all...

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  22. I can not believe some jerk just sprayed you in the face with a hose. WHAT THE HECK????? I mean, the first story sounds like someone not paying attention, the second sounds like a crazy, but that one.....That one makes me want to punch somebody for you!

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  23. mama milly: it's not just that you need to walk around...these things all have one thing in common: they happened in the cathedral village.
    this is where all the crazies are.

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