Thursday, July 12, 2012

{scary things}

i've been trying out some scary things lately. Photobucket earlier this year, i got offered a sweet little job doing tv interviews with bands and stuff for a local cable show. i was pretty pumped about it, because i love talking music and i love shows and i love free shows and i love jian ghomeshi...but at the very, very last minute, i literally sent the guy an email that said, "i'm inadequate for this. you should probably get someone else. sorry for being a flake."

and i felt sad about it. i almost sent a retraction email, saying, "i'll be bad at first, but i can learn! i'm flaking on my flake!" i didn't, though. that would've been silly. but i did decide that the next time someone offered me an opportunity like that, i'd jump at it. and i'd stick to it until they told me i couldn't do it. because it's ridiculous how often i shut myself down, how often i get into the boxing ring with someone else and then punch my own self in the face.

but the point is not that.

the point is that not even a week later, i got an email from an entertainment promotion and events hosting organization that's expanding in the city. they hook bands up with gigs and write up reviews for them and organize events in the arts community. pretty cool. they asked for kind of the same thing as the cable people--interviews, show reviews, etc--except in writing. i thought, "IDEAL," and i said, "YES."

anyway. i'm not telling you all this because i expect you'll actually care about all the ins and outs of what i do in my free time; i'm telling you this because yesterday was my first interview and i feel a little like i look in that picture above. i mean, just as i expected, i got all nervous and said a lot of stupid things and asked some really. dumb. questions. but then it was over and i wasn't flat on my back and i knew the things that i could change for next time and thought of some better ways i could have worded stuff, and i'm excited for my next one. practise makes better, at least. you can read it here if you want.
Photobucket
anyway. i guess another The Point is that we all need to stop expecting that we'll be perfect at stuff on our first go. unless we're brain surgeons. there is a little more pressure there.

and who knows? maybe someday the cable people will call again. and i'll sit on my hands and say, "YES."

19 comments:

  1. Awesome! Good for you! And you *will* get more confident and more comfortable with it; I have to interview people for articles all the time and it gets easier with every single person that I talk to. Keep at it. :D

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  2. Super-incredible-awesome-time!!! That is so rad that you got another chance at a neat interview job!!! I can totally relate to the whole "punching your own self in the face" routine... cheers to being works in progress!!! :D

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  3. This is something I'm working on too. When I'm asked to do stuff my gut instinct is NO! I am learning to say yes.

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  4. you had better say 'yes'. I think you would be great on tv! I liked your written interview as well though!

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  5. That photo! You have mad skills.

    Congrats on taking a leap. It's so very exciting.

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  6. that sounds like the perfect gig for you. knock em dead.

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  7. I happen to know a certain guy who talked to you and who was sad it didn't work. This is pretty fantastic though! Congratulations!

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  8. sarah: oh good! that's what i was hoping for. :)

    jessie: CHEERS, indeed. :D

    jessica: isn't it funny? why are we so down on ourselves? {i just accidentally typed "ourselfs"}

    mama milly: hahaha, thank you!!

    brigitta: thank you!! and yes, my swimming-with-shark skills are improving over time.

    ashlee: aw, thank you!

    jason: i was sad too! i psyched myself out, even though it was really silly. sigh. me. and thank you!

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  9. i know exactly what you mean, i have been known to hide myself away and not think myself good enough for certain opportunities. but that is changing slowly but surely.

    son congrats to you! i bet you are great :)

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  10. Cool, I can see you doing that too, you're not a dummy like the mtv/much music tarts so the bands will actually enjoy speaking with you I bet.

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  11. I have been persuading myself to do things I'm frightened about too, I think it's a really good thing to do! So congratulations :)

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  12. Wow Suzy! This is so freaking exciting! I know exactly what you mean, I'd probably flake on something scary too. It's hard to step out of your comfort zone sometimes. Anyway I'm so excited for you!

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  13. suzy: i double-take every time you leave me a comment. like, "i don't remember typing...that..." haha. and thanks. :)

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  14. The first time my current employer came knocking on my door I said no because I thought I'd suck at it. Thankfully they came around a second time...don't ever doubt yourself was the moral of my own story.

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  15. Haha I do that if you're ever mentioned somewhere and I'm like, that's not me?! Silliness!

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  16. This is super sweet, Suz! However, I am confused as to when I asked "What's new & exciting?" a week ago, this did NOT come up!! Keep me in the loop, woman!

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  17. erin: it's true! and you have a sweeeeet job to prove it...

    suzy: haha, i know! cuz we read all the same blogs too... i wonder if WE confuse others...

    kiersten: i knowwww, i just get weird about talking about online things in real life, like they don't exist then or something. haha. next time, i will keep you in the loop!

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  18. I kind of hope we do confuse others. In a nice way though, like an abundance of suzy-ness can only be a good thing right?

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