Monday, August 27, 2012

{taylor swift and me}

since 2007, i have had a long and arduous relationship with taylor swift. i'm pretty sure that was the fall i first saw her video for teardrops on my guitar, where she is pictured in bed in a flowing green grad dress, cuddling with her guitar and, you know, crying on it. crying glitter.

i was in the living room of my new apartment, eating oatmeal with peanut butter and cereal mixed into it, when ctv previewed the song and its new music video. i'd never seen taylor before, and didn't know then that i'd ever see her again, let alone that she'd become part of my life in such a ridiculous way.

at once i didn't like her. she was awkward looking, and she laughed in this way that i didn't like--with her hand curled in front of her mouth and her eyes all squinched up and her teeth splaying out--and the song, lyrically and musically, was cheesy and also the part about her laying in bed cuddling with her guitar and crying on it. i judged her. i judged her so hard.

taylor swift. whatever. i was over her before she began.

anyway, it started that spring at a grad supper. a friend was introducing me to his family, and when his dad shook my hand he said, "well! you were right: she does look just exactly like taylor swift!"

because i didn't know this man, and because i didn't know how to react to this offence, i looked sideways at my friend and gave a bewildered laugh, which prompted a guffaw from the father, and further commentary: "you laugh just like her too!"

i know, i know. there are worse people to be compared to. bill cosby, for instance. i knew it was meant as a compliment and that i should've reacted with a blush and a shy smile but, first of all, i knew i didn't look like taylor swift. i had the same hair as her--long, blond, and very curly--and now i realized that i also shared the same awkward mannerisms: the splaying teeth, the squinchy eyes, the i-know-i'm-very-tall-for-a-girl posture. i realized that the dislike for her music video had been similar to the feeling i have when someone posts a picture of me on facebook mid-laugh, when my mouth is open and you can see my tonsils. {i know, i need to get over it. i just have a really strange laughing face.} second of all: i'm kind of snotty about music and i just straight up didn't like hers. on the other hand, if people said i looked like aaron weiss, i'd be all over that, minus the beard. he dances like an angel.

and so it began. taylor swift was famous overnight and everywhere i went, people commented on the likeness. strangers stopped me at the mall to comment on it; i heard teen girls whispering off to my left in the grocery store about whether or not they should ask for my autograph {until i took my sunglasses off}, i heard the reference no less than twice a day. my dad called me one day to tell me that he thought he'd seen me on tv yesterday! {but then it wasn't you!} {it's okay, dad. i can understand why you thought it was me on the stage at the country music awards.}

it took a couple years, but finally i realized that taylor swift wasn't going anywhere and that i should probably just embrace the whole thing. i mean, i didn't start listening to her music or anything {except that one song she did with the civil wars}, but i stopped being bitter about it and started finding it quite funny, especially when the strangers who stopped me on the street were 60 year-old men telling me i looked like the girl from the romeo and juliet song.

as kind of a "truce", i dressed up as her for halloween.
Photobucket Photobucket
and then i got sick and my hair straightened itself pretty much overnight and all the comments stopped. i no longer "looked" like taylor swift, and finally i was proved right: it was always only the hair.

so i went back to being myself and walking through the mall undetected by squealing 13 year-olds and elderly country fans.

anyway. the point isn't all that; that's just backstory. the point is that i got my hair cut on friday and when the hairdresser was done with me, she spun my chair around and studied my face.

"wow. you look like taylor swift," she said.

i hit google as soon as i got home to find out what she meant.

this is what she meant:
Photobucket
why did no one tell me that taylor got BANGS?

21 comments:

  1. BAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

    I LOVE it.

    I'm sorry that it seems there will be more Taylor Swift moments ahead, but at least you're musically independent of her. I mean, you've got EXCELLENT taste, and that alone should set you apart :D hehe!

    By the way, you are ROCKING those bangs. Gorgeous!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bahah! I do not like T. Swift. Not much. I actually do like her new song for the cheesy, pop thing that it is, but I think that's because it doesn't sound like her usual stuff. ANYHOW, You do look like her in the respect that yes, your hair is the same color. And there is a resemblance, but it's like you're her prettier sister or something.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm laughing at your pain. I'm sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  4. yup...you could be a body double!

    ReplyDelete
  5. yup...you could be a body double!

    ReplyDelete
  6. lol, this post made me laugh! You and Taylor are both very pretty, but I don't think you look very much alike besides the hair... If we ever happen to meet in real life, I'll ask for your autograph just to annoy you. (you've been warned)

    BTW, love the new blog design! =]

    ReplyDelete
  7. Did you not get my telegram on this matter? It's kind of funny, in a way. You should own it. Hahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh friend, I'm sorry, but I do really see the resemblance. But I also think that Taylor Swift is super pretty (and you too obv).

    I get Winona Ryder every now and then, also Natalie Portman in V for Vendetta and Tina Fey.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hilarious! I think you've got too much attitude to look like Taylor Swift (and this is a big compliment - I'm not one of those people who think 'tude is a bad thing)

    ReplyDelete
  10. hahahaha! oh, that's too FUNNY! But I'm sure she only did it because she heard that you were thinking of bangs.

    Hey, she's in S'toon for something. Want bring your big sunglasses up here and walk around? I'll follow around you carrying a clipboard and talking angrily into a cell phone, looking at my watch every so often.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Glad you're back, my friend. (And I don't mean as Taylor Swift!)

    ReplyDelete
  12. hahah i loved this post.

    on a positive though your hair looks amazing!

    i really want bangs and your hair is now persuading me it would be a really really good idea.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Too funny. It really is just in the hair and your slender frame. Her facial features are more dramatic. Your eyes are prettier than hers. Just saying.

    ReplyDelete
  14. hahaha you guys are hilarious. carmen: ben raine and bernard and dallas were gonna do that with me when she came to craven a few years back! we never did...sigh. maybe this is my last chance!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

    ok. I've been out of the blogging world for a long time. But I just read this while on hold and laughed, sitting at my desk. Thank goodness i'm on hold and not on a conference call.

    Youre so lovely. I like you much more than t-swift

    ReplyDelete
  16. aaaaaahahaha. You're totally prettier than her. Loving your bangs!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. you know what's weird? I know someone else who also looks similar to Taylor Swift. So that could mean that she looks similar to you? Oh no.. another look alike!
    - Erika

    ReplyDelete
  18. erika! tell her to dye her hair black. we can't have this! :)

    liz! come back to blog land....

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh, that's just too too funny. I can see the resemblance, of course, and I can completely understand the frustration. Oh man.

    But I definitely think you look better with a fringe (aka bangs)

    ReplyDelete
  20. It could be much worse... I think Taylor Swift is kinda' sweet. (And what's wrong with BIll Cosby?! Just kidding.)

    When you first got hired at the church I remember one of Sean's sisters asking me excitedly, "Is she the one who looks like Taylor Swift?" and I said "Yes. But DON'T tell her that!"

    ReplyDelete

Say anything you want. It doesn't even have to be relevant.