Monday, April 01, 2013

{april fools}

The fire alarm went off at 4:30 this morning.

The fire alarm usually only goes off every time I cook. So this was weird. I was not cooking at 4:30AM.

I was sleeping. Maybe I was dreaming about cooking? Or maybe the house was on fire.

I felt Barclay jerk awake beside me and scramble out of bed, but I couldn't be bothered. I rolled over and pulled a pillow over my face. Fires usually die down on their own, eventually. Right?

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP
{Barclay clomping up the stairs.}

The beeping cut out. The house was quiet.

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP

Except for Barclay clomping back down the stairs.

"Is our house on fire?" I asked, just in case.

"No," he said. "I don't know what that was about."

"Okay, Good," I said. I smiled at him in the dark. Because it is always a comforting thing to be told that your house is not on fire. Especially when you're very tired and don't feel like evacuating your warm bed to stand on the front lawn in waist-deep snow and watch all your earthly possessions burn to the ground along with your hopes and dreams.

Barclay crawled back into the bed, huffing a little from the sudden midnight sprint. He laid back down, kissed my forehead, put his head on the pillow, and---

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

--Jumped straight up in the air again. The first time, it had been fear. This time it was rage.

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP

BARCLAY ANGRY.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

And now I was wide awake and dreaming up horror stories about a psycho killer in our house lighting matches beneath the smoke alarm to lure us upstairs where he could psycho kill us. Because in my world, the only rational explanation to EVERYTHING is a psycho killer. Smoke alarm goes off? Fire? NO. PSYCHO KILLER.

Psycho Killer by Talking Heads on Grooveshark

So anyway. The smoke alarm went off three times. We don't really know why. At first I thought that maybe the psycho killer gave up and went home. But then I remembered that it was April 1. Maybe he was just playing an April Fools prank on us. Like, "Oh no! Your house is on fire! Haha, just kidding. Oh! Now it's actually on fire! Haha, just kidding. Oh! This time I'm serious! Haha, just kidding."

Probably.