Wednesday, November 27, 2013

{let it drop}

 photo 3C8CC0C9-C8AA-4F2E-8213-FF6116FB9910_zpszfcfigqr.jpg There are only two months, give or take a few days, until I meet the little boy in my belly face to face. I'll be honest about it: I'm completely terrified out of my mind. Which, I think, is not a bad or strange thing to be.

(Especially because back when it was looking like I might not be able to get pregnant, I consoled myself sometimes by reading horrible birth story blog posts and horrific online articles with names like, "What No One Told You About Childbirth". This was a terrible, terrible idea for a coping mechanism, because now I'm just thinking about What No One Told Me About Childbirth all the time. You know why No One Told You? Because you don't want to know.)

But the point is not that. The point is that this whole thing has just gone by a lot faster than I expected.
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I mean, I love him a lot and so I'm very excited to actually see him, but it's pretty wonderful being able to hold him so close to me all the time and not have to share him with anyone. I guess that makes me a greedy baby hog which, I think, is also okay.

But.

Time is like a piano falling from a twelve-story skyscraper. Nothing but matchsticks soon. Suzy, I say to myself sometimes, I say, Suzy: resistance is not only futile; it's stupid. Let it drop. 

So here I am at 32 weeks, right in the middle of my third trimester, with both an end and a beginning in sight. I'm tired, but I'm happy, and I'm afraid, but I'm excited. The nursery's not finished, but at least I've been remembering to take my vitamins.   photo FA4E5A04-0236-462C-B9F5-1674D765C752_zpsgxqah85x.jpg

25 comments:

  1. Oh Suzy, you look lovely. I am looking forward to seeing your wee man.

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    1. aw, thanks. :) i'm looking forward to it too!

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  2. You are suuuch an adorable pregnant lady! I'm so excited for you guys.

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  3. And when I've worried about not being able to have kids, I check out "reasons to not have kids" posts. haha!

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    1. (totally done this too! yikes. yikes bikes.)

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  4. You look absolutely fabulous! And it has flown by! But usually it's only friends and family that say that...the actual pregnant person usually doesn't feel that way, so I'm glad you have! I remember Natalie telling me when I was very pregnant with William that at least the baby still feeds himself and doesn't cry in the womb! Touche!! I can't wait to meet the little guy and find out his name...I have no idea what it will be, but I know it and he will be great!

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    1. haha thanks jen! i was totally expecting it to draaaaag out since that's what everyone told me it would do. and, i mean, it's not the most comfortable experience, but i'm just so dang thankful for it. and who knows if it'll ever happen again? i just want to enjoy it for a little bit longer...

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  5. I laughed at the part about hogging the baby.

    That is how I was! Serious. I was super obsessed and kind of a freak when it came to how much I loved the fact that it was JUST me who carried a baby for 9 months and no one else could still him from me.

    And then he was born and I was so so so jealous of anyone who held him. I mean, our families came in our hospital room and instantly snatched him out of my arms and I was ANGRY. And then there were times when Evan would hold him (and I'm talking like weeks after) and I would get jealous. So, your emotions will make you crazy and that's okay, too.

    Ps. You are the cutest pregnant lady I've ever seen.

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    1. i'm so glad i'm not the only one. i just want him all to myself!!

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  6. Suzy, somehow you tell your anxiety of childbirth beautifully. i'm not planning on having a baby anytime soon, but yes, the thought of childbirth frightened me too. but hey! you'll be okay. and it's okay to want the baby near with you 24 hours a day and don't share. on other note, i can't wait to see this little baby too.

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  7. You are looking beautiful, my darling! I bet it is super scary but you've got a wonderful husband to look after you and you're going to be great parents :) xx

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    1. well thanks lady. i AM super thankful for Barclay. That helps a LOT. :)

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  8. Holy shit, so soon! I think feeling scared is something every pregnant lady feels but won't admit to. They just rub their bellys and sigh contentedly as their heart secretly races in terror. haha but you'll be great. And daaamn what a good looking family.

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    1. it's a little bit ridiculous, isn't it? someone asked me the other day if i was SO EXCITED to have my baby and i said, "honestly, i'm terrified." and she was like, "REALLY? scared?! why?"

      like. what exactly do you mean, "why?"

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    2. not that i'm not excited. i'm pumped. but i still have moments of complete and absolute mind-numbing terror. that's all.

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  9. LOOK AT YOUR BEAUTIFUL PREGNANT MERMAID HAIR. You and your bump are just the cutest. I can't wait to virtually meet that little man!

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    1. haha, thanks ashlee! i will introduce you to him as soon as possible!

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  10. I can't believe you're 32 weeks already! Can't wait to meet him ... And I'll try not to steal him too much. ;)

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    1. ME NEITHER. it's flown. it's crazy! i'm excited for you to meet him too. :)

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  12. I can't believe how fast it has gone. You look incredibly beautiful!

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