Saturday, March 01, 2014

{the state of my toes, for those who care}

The other day, when most of me came into the kitchen, my pinky toe stayed in the hallway for just a split second.

(Here, the word "split" is a terrible pun.)

There was a moment of the most blinding kind of pain, and I yelled to the empty kitchen, "RATS OUCH NO!" (Because I'm nothing if not completely eloquent in times of distress. Ask anyone.)

But kitchens are notoriously unsympathetic and I was greeted with stainless steel silence.

I looked down. In despair, I noticed that my littlest toe was now grossly separated from the rest of the pack and sticking straight out to the side. Like, if my foot was 'N Sync, that little pinky toe was Justin Timberlake. Solo.

I tried to wiggle it, just to see, which was a big stupid mistake.

I have to admit that I was a pretty big baby over it. Barclay came home to me laying on the couch with my foot on the coffee table making pitiful grimace-y faces. "It's broken," I said woefully. "It hurts more than anything, ever." Probably hyperbole.

But he humoured me, dutifully wrangling Justin into his rightful upright position and taping him to Lance Bass. (I'm pretty committed to this metaphor at this point.) Today, two days later, there is some sweet bruising going on, but I think the band is back together for the time being.

I just thought you'd want to know.

24 comments:

  1. OUCH!!!

    Stubbing your toe just LIGHTLY is bad enough... hope Justin is feeling better soon... haha. Yeow.

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    1. I will definitely pass on your well wishes to Justin.

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  2. Suzy, the way you tell this story is brilliant!
    Sorry about the toe though, but glad that now the band is together again

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  3. Ouch, friend! Sounds rough. But you're on the mend, thank goodness ;-)
    I miss N'Sync a little...

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    1. i never really was huuuge into them, but their songs still make me feel pretty nostalgic. oh grade 7...

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  4. this is the best possible account of a broken toe. Lance is such a good bro, helping Justin out.

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  5. Haha I love the "stainless steel silence", very clever. Sorry about your toe!

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  6. Oh! Gross!! I did that last summer (though it wasn't sticking out to the side, going solo. If that had been the case, I think I would have done more than lay on the couch in agony. There may have been some fainting) and the bruising was pretty sweet for a long time. Thankfully, I did it when I could wear flip flops. Poor you, with snow being on the ground I think flip flops are out. Ugh. I'm still recoiling from your description! I'm so sorry!

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    1. flip flops WOULD be a major advantage at this point...
      fortunately, i've been hermitting. haven't left the house since thursday! (yikes.)

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  7. i'm sorry about your toes. but also, this is maybe the best thing i've ever read. you are the best. is what i'm saying.

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  8. Oh dear...you need to keep those toes together! That sounds painful (but I'll admit to laughing pretty hard about the 'N Sync metaphore...that made me pretty happy. The rest, however, did not.

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    1. crystal! you forgot to close your parentheses!!!

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    2. *sigh*...I noticed that just as I was pushing the "publish" button...and then it was too late. I was hoping you wouldn't notice, but alas and alack, you did...and then pointed it out publicly...oh the humiliation!!! hahaha!

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    3. heehee. terribly sorry. ummmm, why don't you blog anymore?

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  9. This post made me feel a bit squirmy. But never have I heard somebody compare the breaking of toe to the general operations of N-Sync. So thanks, and well done, for that. I hope your pinky recovers quickly!

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    1. haha, sorry for making you squirmy.
      i love that word: squirmy.

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  10. yeoooowwwww!!
    Barclay is a good tour manager, keeping the band on the straight and narrow... :)

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    1. hahaha i'll tell him that. he IS a good tour manager.

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