Thursday, August 28, 2014

{in which I am a mess}

I went for a walk with Robyn on Thursday.

No, wait.

Even as I typed that, I realized that I don't know what day it is. I went for a walk with Robyn two days ago. But if two days ago was Thursday, then today is Saturday, and why, then, is Barclay at work?

I checked. Today is Thursday. Two days ago, it was Tuesday.

Not that it matters even remotely. But let's try it again.

I went for a walk with Robyn on Tuesday. It was sunny and warm out, but I wore a blue striped sweater over my grey tank top just in case. She was five minutes early, because she is and always has been that kind of person, as far as I can tell. I was running late because I'm the same kind of person, only the exact opposite.

I blew out the front door like a whirlwind, Sullivan in one arm, his shoes tucked under my other one. I said, "Hello!" I said, "Let's go!" But then I paused. I felt like I was forgetting something.

I was. I was forgetting my house keys, a hat for Van, my phone, the diaper bag, and my shoes.

Yes, I was barefoot. And Robyn was five minutes early. And Robyn was wearing shoes.

Lest you blame it on me having a baby, I have to admit here that Robyn also has a baby, and Robyn's baby is four months younger than Sullivan, and Robyn's baby was wearing shoes too. There is no excuse, I just need to get my act together.

So the next day, yesterday, Wednesday, not that it matters, I went for a walk with Brittany. I was meeting her at the Marina, a short walk from my place. I was on time. I remembered my keys, and the diapers, and the hat, and shoes for both of us. I felt like Superwoman. I felt like Robyn.

I rounded the corner, about five blocks from my house, and I saw this:


It's a strange thing to go for a walk and see your clothes hanging from the trees. I looked around, almost expecting to see the rest of my outfit from the day before decorating the park. I was not Superwoman anymore. I was a crazy lady whose clothes were hanging from the trees. 

I tentatively stepped forward and retrieved my sweater from its branch hanger. A girl strode past, staring inquisitively. I smiled at her and put my sweater on. I couldn't remember even taking it off the day before. Had I just shrugged it off and left it on the ground? 

Apparently.

I am super bad at life.

15 comments:

  1. Hahahaahahaahaahaah
    you are the best, really.

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  2. Hahaha this is excellent. Also, you are definitely not bad at life!

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  3. How nice of someone to hang it up for you! And you are not bad at life...you are bad at remembering that you took off your sweater. So great that you go for walks around the same places so that you can find what you didn't know you had lost! I think that's good planning on your part. Way to go!

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    1. wasn't that nice of them? i was impressed.

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  4. This made my day and made me feel less crazy about leaving my keys at the cash register of every store I go to.

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    1. oh man, i do that too. and then you have to do the walk of shame back up to the cash register and sheepishly grab your keys/debit card/purchase in front of whoever was behind you in line. you'd think the embarrassment would be some kind of motivation for me not to do that anymore...

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  5. This is amazing. I think you're rocking at life. Especially if you have an awesome neighbors on your walking route that will take the time to hang up that sweater...which is adorable, by the way :)

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    1. SUCH good neighbors eh? I appreciated that so much. It would've been ground into the mud by the time I found it...

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  6. Ha ha! Love this. And I think I carry Ethan's shoes in my purse more than he wears them on his feet. If I can find a matching pair...

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    1. i know hey? sullivan carries his shoes around the house in his mouth now, so finding a matching pair is getting harder and harder...

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