I've gotten lots done tonight. Nothing at all important, but Important feels very much besides the point lately. Important is super subjective and inconstant. Like, one might say that keeping the house clean is Important, so I might spend my whole precious evening cleaning the house. First thing the next morning the house gets eaten in and walked around in and lived in and there I am in the middle of the kitchen realizing I could've spent that evening so much differently. The house would be dirty, sure, but - oh look: it's dirty now anyway. Anything accomplished is undone and I didn't even enjoy that evening.
I get that cleaning is, technically, good to do. It just feels like an exercise in futility these days and I'm feeling increasingly okay about going to bed with the dishes in the sink and the cheerios all over the floor. Sullivan will eat some and mash the rest into the rug in the morning and I don't even care.
Anyway. I've had the house all to myself this evening. Barclay took half the day off work to spend in the studio with a bunch of his musical friends and they're still there, working/playing late into the night. I'm happy for him, and also a little jealous. (A lot jealous.) I put Sullivan to bed, came out here, made a hot drink, ate some supper. Karlie showed up on my doorstep out of the blue with a potted plant for my piano and stayed for a short visit (what!? So nice). She left, I wrote a little, felt a momentary twinge of guilt which I mitigated by filling the dishwasher and turning it on, read some. Did other various things.
And now, I'm just sitting here. Listening to Bear's Den. Sometimes when I tell people I just sit and listen to music, they get all perplexed about it. Like, "And what else?"
No what else. If you've got really good music there doesn't need to be anything else, I think. I left a couple of good ones up at the top of the page, and you should listen to them. As usual, I would recommend listening to them as loud as possible with your eyes closed, but I understand if you don't feel like doing that.
I just feel sad for you because you're missing out, is all.