Monday, July 13, 2015

Waiting Mode

My coffee tastes so good this morning.

I don't get it. It's the same beans as usual, same Bodum, same water...must be something extraneous. Maybe its me: my taste buds or my attitude. Maybe it's the cup I'm drinking it out of. Maybe it's the weather forecast or the music I'm listening to.

There sure is a lot that goes into enjoying something.

I feel jittery today. My chest feels like it's full of birds, all flapping around, trying to get out. It is not because of the coffee.

(Though, the coffee sure isn't helping.)

It's because yesterday I sent the first draft of my book off to three people for them to read. Their job is to tell me if it sucks or not. I chose the people very carefully, two librarian friends and a writer friend, and am, like, super, super nervous about it.

(By the way: thank you to everyone who offered to edit for me; you are all amazing. That's a lot of work to offer to do for someone. I will probably email a few of you when second draft time rolls around, but probably not all of you because there were roughly thirty of you who offered, either here or in emails or in real life and I still want to have people left who have not read it when I finish it. But you should know that you offering was pretty dang encouraging and made me really happy, so thank you.)

Anyway. I'm in waiting mode now. I feel ill, I feel excited, I have that song from Mary Poppins about feeding the birds stuck in my head, I have imaginary wings rearranging my internal organs... I am, in short, a wreck.

But also, I'm having so much fun.