Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The Weather and My Brain

It’s Wednesday morning, 11:04 am – naptime. I’m listening to Brahms and Leisure Cruise and drinking coffee. The house is completely quiet and I have my bedroom window open – it’s plus 3! With a 30% chance of rain! 

I love it. 

People always complain when weather is the topic of conversation, don’t they? 

“All we ever talk about is the weather; I hate small talk.” 

“She mentions the weather all the time. We know it’s cloudy, we have windows.” 

“I live in Scotland; I do not care what the weather’s like in Saskatchewan.” 

But the thing is: if I’m telling you it’s cloudy, rainy, and above zero, what I’m actually telling you is that I feel very comfortable, cozy, happy, optimistic, content, like today is going to be good and fun and magical, like anything sad is only sad in a movie-type, romantic way, not in a reality-type, tragic way, and like my head is clear enough to write stuff down instead of sitting here stewing over a blank page.  

That’s not small talk at all, now is it?  

You don’t even want to know what it means when I tell you that it’s -40 and snowing. 

Anyway, I can tell you stuff that isn’t weather related, if you want. I’ll tell you a story about my brain. 
Last week, Dr. Coffee (a cool little coffee shop downtown with a play area for kids) celebrated World Poetry Day by offering a Pay With a Poem option. I went with Robyn, and used a little poem I’d written about an empty coffee cup. 

It’s funny; as I was walking out the door that morning, I had a moment of nothing-induced panic. This is not unusual – my brain likes to get all worked up over silly things. What if, I thought, some TV station wants to talk about this Poetry Day thing on the news tonight? What if they come to Dr. Coffee right when we’re there and ask us to read our poems for the camera?

I hate public speaking, so I started worrying about that, and about my poem and about my unwashed hair and about how my voice sounds on TV – all stuff that most people don’t generally worry about when they’re going for coffee with a friend. But welcome to my brain. This is how my brain works. It makes up a hypothetical situation, presents it to itself as something that is ABSOLUTELY GOING TO HAPPEN, and then starts losing its mind over it. My friends are always tell me to stop doing this, but I can’t. Partially because these hypothetical situations keep coming true.

I arrived at Dr. Coffee, said my poem to the barista, and sat down with Robyn. We’d been there for maybe 10 minutes when the CBC news crew pulled up. They came in and talked to the barista for a minute and she pointed at us and they came over and asked us to read our poems for the camera. My suspicions were confirmed: everything I worry about in life WILL happen.  

I’m starting to wonder if I have a special kind of brain that remembers the future instead of the past (please hum the Twilight Zone theme song to yourself here). 

Thankfully, Robyn had enough calm and confidence for both of us, and I had to admit, afterward, that it was fun and not actually all that scary. This is, possibly, also a good thing to keep in mind when worrying over hypothetical-but-will-probably-happen situations. We listened to ourselves reading our poems in their entirety on The Afternoon Edition later that day and texted each other excitedly and it was like that scene in That Thing You Do when The Oneders first hear their song on the radio and freak out. It was exactly like that. 

13 comments:

  1. It's supposed to get to plus 20 today here but instead of appreciating it I'm mad that I have glasses and it's sunny so I can't wear sunglasses and so I'm squinting a lot when I'm outside. And maybe when I walk home I will get sweaty. Life is so hard sometimes.

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    1. PLUS 20.

      Whenever I get sad about not living in BC I think about the pictures you post on Instagram of spiders and I feel better.

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  2. p.s. did I tell you you're the coolest?

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  3. Your life rocks! Have I mentioned I would be addicted if it was a reality TV show...have I mentioned that I think your life SHOULD be a reality TV show?!

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    1. Hahahhaa you are funny. Can you even imagine being on a reality TV show? I would be the worst at it. I'd just stand there a lot and be like, "So...what do you want me to do? Does my hair look dumb?"

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  4. I've told you this before on Facebook and probably on some other blog post of yours, or even Instagram. But I feel like we're friends. Maybe it's because I started reading your blog in like 2009 and you read mine (when I had one and actually kept up with it - which I plan to do again one day) and we are personal friends on the bookface, but it feels cool and awesome and your stories are always wonderful even though some of them are simply about the weather. But they're also about so much more than the weather. Anyways, just thought I'd stop by and say you're great in case you needed to hear it, even if you didn't that's ok i'm still saying it...and as always if you're ever near Cleveland I would probably explode at the opportunity to show you and Barclay and Sullivan my beautiful skyscrapers in my beautiful city. :)

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    1. It's crazy hey? I often forget that I haven't actually met certain blog friends in real life yet, and you're definitely one of those. One day! I've never been to Cleveland. Is there stuff to do? Maybe I'll make my way down there sometime!

      Also, thanks for your kind words. You're so sweet.

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    2. That would be wicked awesome! There is definitely stuff to do in Cleveland. I'd take you to the pier, there are museums all over the place, and we also have the rock n roll hall of fame, plus some of the best coffee and food ever at the West Side Market. Oh, and there are hiking/biking trails all over the place! Just to name a few haha! It's a quirky city for sure, but I will always love it and call it home. Free stay if you ever wanted to visit, of course. :) Here's a cool little taste: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAG9L2J_lUk

      And you're very welcome! :)

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    3. Um, yes, that sounds exactly like my kind of vacation. Like, exactly.

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    4. Jessica Zavatsky7 April 2016 at 11:48

      Oh great! That would be a lot of fun if you came to visit! :)

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  5. I live in Scotland and I love hearing about what the weather is like elsewhere! Although probably because it's our main topic of conversation here... ;)

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    1. Oh man, us too. We talk about weather way too much. I love the weather you have in Scotland. Because I love rain. And you have lots of that. LUCKYYYY.

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