Saturday, December 24, 2016

Christmas Songs That Are Not All I Want for Christmas is You

"Large coffee, hold the spit." I looked up. It was a guy with a white moustache, and he looked pleased with himself. I smiled. "And what's this music? You picking this music?"

The barista nodded. He had a Macbook behind the counter.

"It's not Christmas music," observed the man.

"Nope. You need some Christmas music?" asked the barista.

"Well, yeah. Christmas is in four days," said the man.

"Okay," said the barista, whose musical taste I'd been thoroughly appreciating for two hours straight already, "I'll queue one up for you. Let's see..." He scrolled through his collection and smiled. "This one. No one hates this one." I leaned forward in my seat in anticipation...

...and then he played Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You, and my brain melted.

I don't mean to be such a critic, it's just that I've heard That One at least fifty times since December 1. I'm like, "Actually, all I want for Christmas is not That One."

Anyway. The experience inspired your Christmas present for this year: a whole entire playlist of Christmas songs that are not All I Want for Christmas is You. That was literally the only criteria I used to put it together. I protected this playlist from Mariah Carey like she was Marv and I was Kevin Mcallister.

Suitable for Christmas morning present opening, Christmas afternoon supper prep, Christmas evening dinner music, or Christmas night Christmas parties.

Merry Christmas.
I love you. Or, like, the ones of you that I actually know.