Saturday, December 31, 2016

Happy New Year from Me at Home

Welp, it's New Year's Eve and I'm coming to you live from not a New Year's Eve party. Again.

Womp, womp, womp... (My computer tried to autocorrect that to "Womb, womb, womb." Because that makes more sense.)

Want to hear tales of New Year's Eve Pasts where I also wasn't at a New Year's Eve party?

I remember this one NYE where I wasn't invited to The Party (I lived in a small town, so there was usually only One Party to go to). I sat on my futon and wrote in my diary about what a loser I was while The Party raged on just a few miles from my house (I lived on a farm, actually, beside the small town).

Another year, The Party was at my house, and, much to my surprise, the cool kids came!

But then.

They informed me upon arrival that they were only there because their moms made them come and that they were going to stay for half an hour and then go to their own The Party. My party got demoted to lower case p in front of everyone. So I sat on my futon and wrote a letter to my best friend about what a loser I was.

Another year, I went to The Party and nothing really happened; it was a very boring party.

Which basically brings us to the present. I'm not sure right now if I'm sad that I don't have New Year's plans tonight (for maybe the third year in a row?) or relieved that I'm in my pyjamas already... Maybe I'm mostly worried that this has some kind of negative effect on my cool rating. But probably lots of other people aren't at parties tonight (please tell me this is true) for whatever reason and, when you're almost 30, your cool really isn't determined by whether you're at a party or not. Your cool is determined by how many different kinds of Pinterest Popcorn you can make and consume in one evening and how many episodes of Freaks and Geeks you watched while eating said popcorn. Right?

So I'll just be over here working on that cool and not writing anywhere about what a loser I am.