Wednesday, May 03, 2017

Here, I Wrote a Children's Book About Putting Toys Away



A lego left there by the chair
Sends me flying through the air
With a screeching, howling roar:
"NOTHING'S PLACE IS ON THE FLOOR!"

I'm sorry that I made that sound,
This should not have been on the ground
This is what your hands are for,
NOTHING'S PLACE IS ON THE FLOOR!

When he has friends over to play
And they don't put the cars away
This is it, boys, this is war,
NOTHING'S PLACE IS ON THE FLOOR!

I do not like to step on stuff
This is it; I've had enough
I am mother, hear me roar,
"NOTHING'S PLACE IS ON THE FLOOR!"

Yes, I am a dinosaur,
(This is, of course, a metaphor)
But I will still say it once more, 
NOTHING'S 
PLACE 
IS 
ON 
THE 
FLOOR!!!



Stay tuned for the sequel: NOTHING'S PLACE IS IN THE BATHROOM, in which I am a full-on dragon.

7 comments:

  1. This is the most amazing thing EVER.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahaha well it's from the heart. In a very visceral, guttural kind of way.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. I feel like you could write a really good children's book.
      DOOOOO IT

      Delete
  3. Too much fun!

    It took lots of brawn,
    but the toys are all gone.
    And to help with your healing,
    Now the table's on the ceiling.

    ReplyDelete

Say anything you want. It doesn't even have to be relevant.