Wednesday, January 17, 2018

A Very Long Post About Day Planners

It's +2 today, which is equal parts fantastic and straight up dumb.

It's fantastic because it's warm, because frostbite is unlikely and the ice on the roads might melt a bit. It's dumb because I already ventured out to do my errands earlier this week when it was -40 with the windchill. I got rear-ended, and had to stand out in the cold talking to the guy who rear-ended me and taking pictures of our cars—my damage, his license plate—and wouldn't that all have been so much funner in +2 weather?

But I can't complain, really, because it's +2 now. And Saskatchewanians who complain about the weather when it's +2 are the actual worst.

I talk about the weather a lot on my blog. Probably because I think, somewhere deep down, that simply existing in -40 degree weather makes me a tough person (this is categorically false, though, because a lot of people exist in -40 degree weather. Some of the wimpiest people I know live here—due in part to the fact that most of the people I know live here. I'm digressing wildly).

So enough about the weather. But what else is there to talk about in January? Oh, I know: day planners!

Because in January, most places put their day planners on sale—up to 50% off, as though because you've missed the first few days of January, the value of the whole calendar is depleted by half. It makes no sense, but it's my favourite time of year. 

Is there anything better than a brand new day planner? (Yes, technically, like a billion things.)

But for the purposes of this blog post: NO. There is nothing. 

I took an entire evening last week to peruse the Chapters website in search of the perfect one. There were no less than 500 to choose from (which is kind of silly, Chapters), so it took a while. Lucky for me, I am super picky about planners and have a mile-long list of criteria (below):

1. Has to have a closure of some kind. A bungee cord that wraps around the front, preferably. I saw a few that zip shut like wallets and I thought that was a bit of overkill. Unless you're actually keeping change in your day planner. Which...actually...isn't a terrible idea? Is it? Pockets in the front for your cards? A wallet/planner hybrid. I could get on board with that.

2. Tabs for the months.

3. Lots of room to write—planners with tiny squares are stupid. What, do I only do one thing every day? Half a thing? Come on, Planner People.

4. Lays flat.

5. Month view and day view.

6. Doesn't have a stupid 'inspirational quote' on the front in gold foil. I am over being inspired, and I am over gold foil. (I don't understand 'inspiration culture' to begin with. Am I supposed to feel motivated in my work and personal life just because my planner, who has never met me in real life because it is not a person, says "YOU GOT THIS GIRLFRIEND" on the front of it? That's ridiculous. If one of my actual 'girlfriends' says to me, "You got this," in reference to something they actually believe I've, you know, 'got,' that's one thing. This is another thing. A ridiculous thing.)

7. Doesn't cost $65. I don't understand how a day planner can cost that much. It's a book with nothing written in it. A pretty, hardcover book with lots of well-thought-out, edited to bits words costs about $20-$30 brand new. I am supposed to pay twice as much for a book I have to write myself? 

I probably have other criteria as well, but I whittled down those 500 choices quite quickly using this list.

The one I finally settled on kept almost all of my rules beautifully, but it breaks #6 throughout. It's unfortunately bursting with 'inspirational quotes,' nattery BFFspeak, and has a secret code and a flow chart in the back to help you decide if you need bangs or not (I already know I don't). I feel like it's probably geared toward high school students, so whatever. It's fine. I'll probably take whiteout to some of it, to be honest.

But it's got good bones.

What it lacks in professionalism and bored indifference toward me and my life, it makes up for in functionality, pretty artwork, and a heft that feels very legit, if you know what I mean. And, like, there are two pages of stickers. You're never too old or stoic for stickers. ...riiiiiight?

It's this one here, and here are some pictures of it:

And now you need to tell me about/post links to your day planners, because I love talking about day planners. This is how you can tell I'm thirty.